


Living On

by Silencedogood



Category: Batman (Comics), DCU
Genre: F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Muteness, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-06-04
Updated: 2014-06-09
Packaged: 2018-02-03 09:08:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,346
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1739102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silencedogood/pseuds/Silencedogood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Azza was born different so her family went off the radar, trying to keep her safe from Ra's Al Ghul. However, she only stays safe for so long before being found my the man and forced to stay with him. She does end up being saved by Jason Todd and the rest of the bat family, but she refuses to reveal what truly happened to her while with Ra's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Being stared at by a two men wasn’t the most comfortable thing in my life. Of course, I had more uncomfortable things happen to me, but I disliked the unfamiliar eyes looking at me with surprise and sympathy.  
Taking in my surroundings, I realized that I was on a medical cot in what appeared to be a cave. I was wearing a black tank top and sweat pants, which was a drastic change compared to my previous rags.  
I went to open my mouth to speak, but immediately closed it. I hated remembering the situation with my voice and having that sinking feeling of loss grow in my gut.  
“Are you alright?” one of the men questioned. He was shorter than most men and appeared muscular, but he had an innocent face.  
I slowly nodded, still trying to assess the situation. My memory was slowly coming back, but it was nothing that I liked remembering.  
 _Where am I? Who are these guys? Am I free? Am I finally free?_ I wondered. Just then another man, an older gentleman, walked into the room with a tray of food.  
“It is good to see you are up, Miss. I brought you some food.” He informed kindly, and I felt my stomach growl at the site of the glass of water, sliced apples, and ham and cheese sandwich.  
It wasn’t moldy bread and dirty water. And it also wasn’t chocolate.  
Feeling like my smile was about to break my face, I dug into the food after giving the older man a small smile of gratefulness.  
“What’s your name?” the other man, tall with short black hair, blue eyes, and a serious demeanor about him, questioned.  
I made a writing motion with my hand while I continued to shovel the food quickly into my mouth.  
“You need something to write on?” the younger man inquired, and I nodded. He quickly retrieved a pen and paper and handed it to me.  
 _“Thank you. My name is Azza.”_ I wrote.  
“Azza, can you speak?” the older man questioned, and I shook my head, no. “Why were you captured by Ra’s. What did he want from you?”  
Everything. That’s what I wanted to say. He wanted everything from me and wouldn’t take no for an answer. However, I could never admit it. I could never admit to being shamed repeatedly and intimately.  
 _“He beat me as a stress release. At first he wanted me to use my powers to help him with some crazy world domination plan, but I wasn’t having it. So, he just kept me around to torture for fun.”_ I wrote. It wasn’t necessarily untrue. He took me because of my power, and he _did_ beat me. I was just leaving out other things that he had done.  
“Jason did say that she had some sort of strength and healing ability.” The younger one remarked and I perked up a bit at the name.  
 _Jason… he was the one who I helped escape. He was the man who was in the cell next to me that would try to communicate with me._  
“Is she okay?”  
Speak of the devil, Jason came walking into the room. He was bandaged where he was injured, but he didn’t look too bad. There was still a strong light of willpower in his green blue eyes. I suppose that that look never changed. His face looked concerned, but mostly serious.  
“She just woke up not too long ago.” The older man stated. When Jason walked closer to me I gave him a small smile and a wave.  
Jason grinned at me and questioned,  
“How are you feeling, Rosie?” I smiled at the use of the nickname he had called me from when we were stuck in the cells.  
I gave him a thumbs up while grinning at him. I was much more comfortable now that he was there.  
“I have to thank you for getting me outta there. How could you bend those bars?” Jason inquired.  
 _“I could heal and use my strength ever since I was little. However, I was never desperate enough to use it very often.”_ I wrote.  
“So this is an ability you’ve had since birth.” The older man nodded seriously, talking more to himself than to me.  
“Does your family know where you are?” the younger man inquired. I deflate a bit and the pen trembled in my hand for a moment when I wrote down the answer.  
 _“They’re dead. They were murdered by Ra’s.”_ I informed with a frown.  
“There’s got to be people looking for you.” The man frowned. “Friends? Distant relatives?”  
 _“My existence was kept a secret. Ra’s was planning to use me before I was born due to my lineage. The only people who knew of my existence was my mother, father, uncle, grandmother, and my two cousins.”_  
“And… Ra’s murdered them _all_?” the younger man questioned, and I nodded. It was silent for a moment until the older man stated,  
“Alfred, take Azza up to the guest room. I have to do some research.”  
“Yes Sir.” The older man nodded. The younger man went to help me off of the cot. I flinched for a moment when I saw his hand come close to me, but I had to calm down and remind myself that this situation was different than before.  
I followed Alfred up some stairs and into a well-furnished and giant home. I followed Alfred up some more stairs and he led me to a plain looking room with a wooden floor, white walls, a large bed, a wooden side table, and a small wooden desk.  
“You should get some rest, Miss. Your body is still healing from the beatings you were given.” Alfred stated, and I slowly nodded me head.  
 _“Thank you, sir.”_ I wrote.  
With that, Alfred left the room, closing the door behind him . I tried to make myself comfortable in the bed, but couldn’t. It was too similar to Ra’s’ bed. Lying there, I felt like I was just waiting for him.  
I slid out of the bed, took one of the pillows off and slept on the floor, finding myself more comfortable and less frightened.  
 _What is wrong with me? Frightened of a bed because it reminded me too much of Ra’s’. I shouldn’t let my fear of him control me even when he isn’t around. I shouldn’t be scared. I shouldn’t._  
But I was scared. At least, I was too scared to sleep in a nice bed. I just curled up on the floor with the soft pillow cushioning my head, and found myself content and comfortable. Drifting off to sleep wasn’t much of a problem.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
“Azza? Azza, wake up.” I felt someone shaking my shoulder and I slowly blinked my eyes open to see the younger man who I woke up to before. I jumped a bit, and would have screamed if I had the voice.  
“No, it’s alright. It’s just me. My name’s Dick. I didn’t really formally introduce myself. But it’s okay. I won’t hurt you.” The man stated, noticing my fear, and my heartbeat started to slow back to its usual pace.  
“Azza, why were you sleeping on the floor?” he questioned. I stiffened for a moment because I really didn’t want to tell anyone that it was because I was afraid.  
All I could do was shrug my shoulders while looking at the ground, hoping he wouldn’t press the matter further.  
Dick helped me to my feet and tried to give me a comforting smile.  
“Here, follow me.” he grinned, dropping the issue and walking out of the room, but I hesitated. Where was he taking me? What was he planning to do? How do I know I can trust him?  
“Azza?” he questioned. I was frozen in place in the doorway, looking at him with uncertainty. “Hey, it’s gonna be alright. I’m not going to hurt you. Nobody here wants to hurt you, alright?” I timidly stepped closer to him, and he started to walk, and I followed.  
He led me to a room that was fairly large and looked to be the living area. There, I saw several people. There was Alfred, Jason, the serious older man I had met before, a young boy, and an older teen.  
“Please, take a seat.” The serious man stated, and I found myself taking a seat closer to Jason. I felt _very_ uncomfortable being in a room with different people, and Jason was the most familiar out of the bunch.  
“Azza, my name is Bruce. I tried digging into some information about you but couldn’t find anything. Do you know why?”  
I made a writing motion, and Bruce handed me a pen and paper.  
 _“I technically don’t exist. My parents took great lengths to make sure that I wasn’t found.”_ I wrote. It was silent for a moment until Bruce took in a deep breath.  
“I have a proposal. Would you like to live here? It is safe and Ra’s would not be able to find you.” Bruce stated, and my eyes widened in surprise.  
 _“What’s the catch?”_ I wrote, looking at the man uneasily. Sure, I had managed to escape the hell hole known as Ra’s’ care, but I wasn’t out of the woods yet. I didn’t know if I could definitely truest them or not.  
“There is no catch, Azza. We just want you to be safe.” Bruce gave me a gentle smile.  
 _“Could I leave? If anything were to go wrong, would I still be able to leave?”_ I questioned, showing the man what I wrote on the paper.  
“If you want to leave, we won’t stop you.” Bruce nodded.  
 _“Then…”_ the pen hovered over the paper for a moment. Did I want to trust these people? But who else could I trust? Where would I even go? _“Then may I please live here?”_  
So, it was decided. I was to live with Bruce in his enormous manor.


	2. Chapter 2

Chpt.2  
Bruce introduced me to the rest of the family living in the huge manor.   
Aside from Jason and Dick, there was also Tim, who was lean but still muscular with cunning blue eyes and black hair that looked to be starting to get too long. He then introduced me to his biological son, Damian. He seemed disgruntled and bored, and he regarded me with very little interest.   
After the introductions, Bruce told me to write down a list of foods that I liked and didn’t like. When it came to food, I liked just about everything so the two columns were very unbalanced. Then came something I didn’t expect.  
“Is there anything that you want?” Bruce questioned after I was done making the list. I raised an eyebrow, perplexed.  
 _“What do you mean?”_ I questioned.   
“Like, material things. Is there anything you want?” Bruce reiterated. I thought for a moment on things that I would want while staying there, but I didn’t want to be too much of a bother.   
_“May I have two note books?”_ I wrote. One for writing stories, the other for a journal.   
“Anything else?”   
_“May I have some pencils too?”_ Bruce chuckled at that.  
“I figured you’d want something to write with for the notebooks. Anything else?”   
What else was I supposed to ask for? I didn’t want to take advantage of his kindness. However, he was looking at me with expectant eyes, waiting for a next request.   
_“Would a sketchpad, markers, and crayons be okay?”_ I questioned.  
“Of course, anything else?”   
How could I ask him for anything else???   
_“I’m good.”_ I wrote.   
“That’s it?” he questioned, and I nodded. “You’d be content with just two journals, a sketchpad, and some art supplies.” I nodded again.  
“Azza, money isn’t a problem. Ask for anything you want. Even if it’s something you couldn’t have before, just tell me.”   
He was looking at me and I felt like he really did want me to ask for something extravagant or at least a bit pricey. I wrote on of the first things that popped into my head.  
 _“Is a bike okay?”_ I questioned.   
“Like a motorcycle? I could take you out to get a license, unless you already have one?”  
 _“No, like a bicycle. One I could pedal.”_ I wrote. Bruce slowly nodded his head.   
“Alright, a bicycle. Anything else.” I needed to put a stop to that ‘anything else’ question.  
 _“No. That’s it.”_  
“You sure.” I nodded.   
“If you want anything else just tell me. I’m going to call over someone to take you shopping for clothes.” Bruce stated.   
I was surprised how fast everything was moving. My heart started to beat faster as my stomach swelled up with fear. I didn’t know exactly why but I was terrified at the moment.   
_“Do you think I can go back to the room and lay down a bit before you call anyone?”_ I wrote, and Bruce looked at me with worry.  
“Of course. Are you feeling alright?”   
_“I’m fine. It’s just all of this is going really fast and it’s a lot to adjust to.”_ I informed which I supposed was right even though I was feeling so panicky.   
“I’ll show you back to your room.” Jason stated before Bruce could say anything. I found Jason placing a hand on my shoulder, making me flinch a bit, but he was placing it there as something to comfort me, not to control me.   
He led me back to the room where I was before and said,  
“I know that this probably feels rushed, but it’s okay. Things will get better, and you don’t need to worry about Ra’s. We’ll protect you if he ever tries to get you again.” He was smiling at me kindly, but I still felt uneasy.   
As if reading how I felt, Jason stated,  
“I’ll talk to Bruce. You just rest, okay?” I nodded and curled up on the bed. Hearing Jason walk out of the room and close the door, I tried to relax into the mattress. Unfortunately, moments after, I was back on the floor with the pillow.   
It was just too similar to Ra’s and I couldn’t take it.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
“When you walk through a storm  
Keep your chin up high  
And don't be afraid of the dark.  
At the end of the storm  
Is a golden sky  
And the sweet silver song of a lark-”  
“Your voice is so precious.” I jumped at Ra’s’ comment and turned to see the man standing in front of my cell.  
“Fuck you.” I hissed, turning away from him. My body was covered in bruises and several of my bones were broken from our last encounter. Not to mention that he proceeded to pleasure himself with me afterwards.   
“I thought that after months of you being in here, you’d be much more… subdued.”   
“Well, you clearly thought wrong.” I growled. He chuckled, then gave me some water and old bread.  
“Your meal.” He smirked. I didn’t bother to thank him as I shakily grasped the bread. My fingers were still broken. Granted, they healed fast, but it was hard to grasp things.   
That was why Ra’s broke my fingers constantly. If I healed fast enough, I’d be able to easily bend the bars and escape. However, with my fingers and other bones broken, it would be extremely difficult to get away. I know because I tried.   
“Allow me to hold the water and let you drink from it. Your hands are still terribly maimed.” Ra’s stated. I wasn’t having any of his ‘kindness’ and just saw it as a move to give me some sort of Stockholm syndrome.   
However, I couldn’t debate since my broken fingers could barely hold the cup, so I let him hold the cup to my lips. I wished that my fingers were healed so I could drink on my own, but I highly craved water. If I wasn’t so thirsty, I’d probably refuse to drink and yell and just be difficult.   
I tried to be as difficult as possible when Ra’s was around.   
He tilted the cup and let me drink.  
“What would your last words be?” he inquired, pulling the cup away from my lips once I got several gulps down.   
It was random, but I thought about the question for a moment.   
“I’d sing something.” I stated. “And since it’d have to be short, I’d sing a passage that my mom would sing.” I sighed, thinking of it.   
“A song? May I hear the passage?” Ra’s questioned.  
I don’t know why I did since I refused to sing for Ra’s on multiple occasions, but I just opened my mouth as the lyrics poured out.   
“Layla yored le'at  
Veru'ach shoshan noshvah  
Havah elchash lach shir balat  
Zemer shel ahava.” I sung. The words comforted me, since the song reminded me of my mother and family.  
“Interesting.” Ra’s hummed, then tipped the cup back to my lips, not letting me ask why. I drank quickly, trying not to waste a drop. This was the first time in a while that the water wasn’t dirty. Once I finished, Ra’s pulled the cup away with a smirk on his face.   
“You’ve gotten too confident my little song bird. Just when you thought I couldn’t take anything else from you, I have. It’ll be interesting to see how resilient you remain now.”   
I went to demand what he was talking about, but no sound came from my mouth. I tried again, but nothing.   
“Be grateful that I let you choose your last words.” He smirked. With that, he turned on his heel and left.   
I touched my hands to my lips, feeling them move, but no sound coming out.   
_He… he took my voice. The bastard took my voice!_ I thought as hatred burned in the pit of my stomach, but also helplessness. I sang to fill a void. A sang to be comforted, and I sang to feel safe. Without my voice, I felt like all that was left of me was a shell. With that realization, I cried the hardest and the quietest in my life.   
“Azza?” I blinked my eyes open to see the teenage boy who was in the living room earlier. His presence startled me and I scrambled from my position until my back hit the wall. I froze, staring up at him in panic, still thinking about my dream and not realizing where I was.   
“Azza. It’s okay, you’re in the manor.” he said calmly. “My name is Tim.” Aside from crouching down to my level, he didn’t make any movements.   
I breathed heavily, my eyes darting around the room so I could get my bearings. Slowly I started to remember what was going on. I timidly moved from the corner back to the position I was in on the floor, and also facing Tim.   
Tim slowly brought up his hand and placed it on my head. That made me twitch back and I quickly hugged my body tightly. Tim quickly reeled his hand away.  
“I’m sorry. Please, Azza. Calm down, you were just having a nightmare.” He stated gently. I nodded, then grabbed the pencil and notepad I had been writing on earlier.   
_“Sorry for being so startled. I wasn’t expecting you to come so close to me.”_ I wrote.  
“I’m sorry for startling you, then.” Tim nodded. His eyes then settled on the pillow on the ground, then the bed it belonged to.   
“Why are you sleeping on the ground?” Yet again, I didn’t want to say. I looked away from him, shrugging my shoulders up and down, and I hoped that had been efficient.   
I heard a heavy sigh escape from his mouth, then he said,  
“Bruce called over a friend of ours to take you clothes shopping.” I nodded, slowly standing to my feet.   
“I can show you where they are downstairs.” He informed, and I nodded, following behind him. It felt nice to follow someone without them holding onto me. It was like if I strayed for a moment, I wouldn’t be hurt by a sudden tug.   
We reached downstairs to where Bruce was. Along with Bruce was a girl who looked to be about my age. She had big blue eyes, wavy blond hair, and a round face. She was beautiful. Not to mention that it felt like a lifetime since I’ve seen another woman.   
“Azza, this is Stephanie.” Bruce informed. “Stephanie, this is Azza.”   
“It’s nice to meet you.” Stephanie smiled, holding her hand out to shake. I smiled a bit and shook her hand. Her hands were a bit rough, but not uncomfortable, just strong, and they were slender. They reminded me of a pianists hands.   
After our handshake, I wrote,  
 _“It’s a pleasure to meet you too.”_ Stephanie read over what I wrote a smiled happily at me.   
“Alright, now let’s get you some new clothes.”


	3. Chapter 3

Chpt.3  
Shopping with Stephanie was an experience. Buying the actual clothes wasn’t too difficult, however, I wasn’t too fond of the various men in the crowd who’d bump and nudge against me, whether it was by accident or not.   
I stuck to Stephanie’s side, but she didn’t seem to mind as she talked to me about Gotham and so on. It was nice to hear Stephanie talk. She had a nice voice. Her voice wasn’t very high, but it was loud, however I didn’t mind the volume too much. She sounded truly kind and excited without a trace of malice in her voice at all.  
As we walked from one store to another, a car full of men slowed up next to us and I tensed at their presence. It unnerved me how many men were in the car, how close they were to us, and how they seemed to be staring at Steph and I with predatory-like eyes.  
“Hey babies! Where you heading!”  
“Look at that ass!”  
“Oh, honey why don’t you join us!” they cat called and joked. Stephanie continued walking, not stopping to yell at them or acknowledge their existence, and I followed in suit. However, the men still yelled from their car.  
“Bet you’d look nice tied to my bed!” one laughed.   
“You two like getting spanked?!” another called. In what felt like hour to me, Stephanie and I finally made it into a store.   
Once out of site of the men, I shuddered from all the memories of what Ra’s did. Looking at my butt, spanking me, being tied to a bed, it terrified me. With all the memories swirling about in my head, I hugged myself and started crying.   
“Hey, shhh, Azza.” Stephanie hushed, obviously taken back from my random crying. “They were dirt bags. They wouldn’t do anything to you. It’s okay.” She wrapped her arms around me and I shuddered as I continued to cry.   
“Why…” Stephanie looked me in the eye with worry and some shock, like she was piecing something together. “What exactly did Ra’s do to you?”   
She knew. It all clicked for her and all I could do was stare at her.  
“Oh my god.” She whispered. I shakily grabbed my notebook and wrote,  
 _“Please don’t tell the others.”_  
“Why not?” she questioned, concerned. I bit my lip. She had a valid question.  
 _Why not? Why not let the others know? You were raped. Shit happens. They’d understand… right?_  
I shook my head, tears still rolling down my cheeks.  
 _“Please. I’m not ready for them to know. Not yet. I can’t. I don’t want them to…”_ I stopped writing. What did I not want them to do? Pity me? Treat me as if I were a broken doll? Think that I let it happen? That I _wanted_ it to happen?   
_“I don’t want them to know yet.” _I finished. Stephanie read it over and slowly nodded.  
“Alright.” Stephan said slowly. “If you ever need someone to… write to, just call me. I’ll be here for you.” Stephanie smiled kindly at me. I gave her a strong hug, then we were back shopping.   
It was nice knowing that Stephanie would be there for me.   
So we went on, shopping and buying clothes. I wasn’t used to buying such fashionable things. I mean, my family wasn’t poor, but we definitely weren’t spending more than a hundred dollars on a pair of jeans.   
I realized that Steph and I were similar in that we both never spent too much on clothing, considering how wide both our eyes would go at the site of some price tags.   
However, Steph said that this was an all-expense paid shopping spree for us both and we were trying on clothes hardly looking at prince tags. I honestly tried not to look at how much we were spending, feeling a bit guilty making Bruce pay so much.   
“Don’t worry Azza. Bruce is expecting us to spend this money. He’s also a bajillion air so he’s got money to spare.” Steph smirked.   
When we returned to the Manor, Bruce had bought me the few items that I asked for.  
 _“Thank you.”_ I wrote with a smile. I was surprised that he actually took the time to get me the items so quickly.   
“It’s not a problem, Azza. If you need anything else, don’t be afraid to inform me.” Bruce stated with a small grin.   
Steph helped me get things situated in what would be my new room, then left, saying that she had some college essays she needed to get to.   
I was left alone in the room, and I looked at the two notebooks Bruce got me. They were nice, probably expensive. They were nicer than any notebook that I had ever had. I almost didn’t want to write in them since they were so beautiful.   
I designated the green leather one as the one I would use as my diary, and the purple leather one as the one to write all my stories and poetry in.   
I then started writing. Just about the day, recounting what went on. I was then done and found that I wanted to write more. That I… that I needed to write more.   
~*~*~*~*~  
 _I suppose that I should explain the circumstances as to how I became a guest in Bruce’s manor._  
I wrote, and took a deep breath.   
_It started when my mother was out buying groceries and my cousins and I were playing Supersmash bros. brawl. My father was waiting to take a turn after the current match, my grandmother was watching the game as a spectator as she drank her tea, and my uncle was doing the dishes.  
It was a normal day. My oldest cousin, Marco, laughed as he proceeded to throw my character off the ledge while my other cousin Lesly tried kicking his player from behind.   
That’s when he just… attacked. Assassins just poured into the room like shadows successfully killing each of my family members in mere seconds. I hardly had any time to react, it was all so fast.   
The room had gone from an air of liveliness to that of death. The smell of blood reeked throughout the house and I was hardly able to get a scream out of my mouth.   
That’s when he stepped in. The demon’s head was calm, and steady as he stepped surely over to me. I was terrified, hardly even able to move.   
Ra’s Al Ghul.   
He stared down at me, looking as if he was made out of marble. Every feature in place and perfect except for a small scratch that bled a bit on his face.   
“Azza.” He smiled, and I didn’t like how he said my name. “You should be very proud of your mother.” He pointed to the scratch on his face. “She is one of the few people to die at my hand yet manage to strike me.”   
“Y-you… my mom… my family…” it was all so fast. I couldn’t process it. What was going on? What all happened. It had to be a dream. It just… it had to be.   
However, when Ra’s put his hand on my should, I felt it. This wasn’t a dream. This was reality.   
Anger was my first emotion. I grabbed the man by his arm and threw him through a wall. I then went to further attack him.   
I knew why he was there. He wanted to use me. He was the reason I had to be careful going outside and why my family was wiped out of government records and why we were in hiding.   
He was there for me, and I was going to do everything in my power so that my family’s hiding wasn’t for nothing.   
However, before I could get in another strike, one of the assassins shot a dart into my neck. I roughly tore it out, but felt dizzy immediately. It must have been tipped with a sedative.   
However, I continued to move. Yes, I was slower, but I still had enough bearings to send several assassins through walls as I continued towards Ra’s to hopefully beat his face in.   
He wanted my strength and I was going to give it to him.   
Unfortunately, several more darts were shot into my back and I hissed in pain. My vision started to waver and I knew I was done. No matter how much I wanted to fight, I had lost.   
When I woke up, I was in some sort of cell. I went to move my fingers but they didn’t budge and I found them in pain. I looked down to see them twitching in a mangled mess of broken bones. I tried to stand but pain shot up my legs and I fell down. They were broken as well.  
I heard what sounded like a door opening and closing when I saw Ra’s make his way towards me.   
“I’m glad to see you’re awake, Azza.” The man smiled. In response I lobbed a ball of spit, successfully colliding on his cheek and I gave myself a mental high five for the distance.   
“Burn in hell, fucker.” I growled.   
Ra’s looked unfazed as he took out a handkerchief and dabbed away my spit.   
“Such language.” He tutted.   
“I wouldn’t be so pissed off if you didn’t murder my family and break my fucking bones.” I spat. Ra’s looked too calm. All I felt was rage but I couldn’t unleash it through my goddamned broken body.  
“I couldn’t contain you correctly if I left you mobile. You would have easily been able to break through the bars.” Ra’s shrugged. “Besides, if you cooperate, I will not have to break your bones again.” He stated.  
“Yeah, what d’you want me to do?”  
“You will be the head of my army. With your power, dominating the free world will be mere child’s play.”   
“No.” I stated. If I gave in, everything my family did would have been for nothing. I would not let them die in vain.   
“I will not do as you say. I will never be the head of any fucking army, especially not yours.”  
All the monster did was smirk at me, stating,  
“We’ll see.” And then he left the room. I was alone in the dark, which began the months of my darkness and torture._  
~*~*~*~*~  
“Ms. Azza. It’s time for dinner.” Alfred informed, knocking on the door.   
I quickly closed the journal, shoving it under the pillow of the bed, then grabbed the conversational tablet.  
 _“Thank you.”___ I wrote and Alfred gave me a friendly smile, leading my downstairs so I could eat.


	4. Chapter 4

Chpt.4  
The dinner table was fairly quiet and the only ones present were Jason, Tim, and Dick. Apparently Bruce and Damian had some work to do.   
I took a seat closest to Jason, since I felt the most comfortable with him. I trusted him more than I trusted the others at the table at least.   
“How are you feeling?” Jason inquired. It was obvious by the looks on his brothers faces that Jason wasn’t typically an outwardly concerned person. I got that vibe off of him when I first met him, however, once you spend several days in a cell next to someone, you tend to care about the person.  
Honestly, having Jason when I was in that cell made me more hopeful, and it was nice having him there after my months of loneliness.  
I gave him a small smile, which he knew meant that I was doing fine.   
On the menu that day was some soup, which I was grateful for. It was easy on my stomach and still warmed and filled me. Beef something or other. Whatever type of soup it was, it was possibly the tastiest thing I had ever eaten.   
“Would you like seconds?” Alfred inquired. It was then that I realized I had eaten the soup extremely fast and that nobody else had finished theirs yet.  
I slowly nodded, feeling a bit rude about eating so fast and wanting more, but Alfred gave me a friendly smile, and went to get me more soup.   
“Azza, do you know sign language?” Tim inquired, and I shook my head. I never knew that I would need it when I was living with my family.  
“If you like, I can teach you. It’d be easier than writing everything.”   
I nodded with a small smile. That sounded great. I did enjoy writing but sign language would make communication with some people much easier.  
Dinner and dessert passed quickly as I listened to the brothers talk and bicker.   
After dinner, Tim asked if I wanted to start learning sign language then and I nodded. He started me off with the alphabet then with some important phrasings like bathroom, help, and so on.   
Once I was finished our lessons, I returned to the room I’d be staying in. I tried lying on the bed again but only lasted for about several seconds. Stepping quietly, I was back on the ground with my head resting on the pillow. I was more comfortable but still fairly awake, so I decided to write some more.   
_Weeks passed with Ra’s asking me to join him every day when he brought in moldy bread and dirty water for me to eat. Every week or so he’d break my bones since I was healing.  
He got tired of my answer being no every time.   
“I think we need to become closer if you are to want to lead my army.”  
“Go to hell. We don’t need to be closer at all.” I hissed. That’s when he opened the cell, lifted me up, and carried me to his room.   
The room was cold but ornate with a lavished bed and candles burning.   
“No fucking way.” I growled but he just leered at me.   
“Relax, songbird. Relax and enjoy.” _  
I shuttered as I wrote the memory. I then continued writing about my first time I was raped. How terrified and angry I was. How weak, broken and dishonored I felt. Everything and just writing about it made me feel a bit pained.   
_After he was done, he threw me back into the cell with nothing but a bed sheet. Never had I ever felt more humiliated._   
With that last sentence, I tucked the book away and fell asleep.   
I woke up the next morning to Jason nudging me awake.   
“Azza, there has got to be a reason why you’re sleeping on the floor.” He sighed. I averted my eyes from him, but unlike with Tim and Dick, Jason didn’t want to drop it.   
Jason grabbed me by my chin gently to have me look at him, but that just made me flinch back.   
“Azza, what’s wrong? There’s no need to be frightened. Ra’s won’t get you here.” His words faded away as my heartbeat pounded in my ears. I was struggling to get in a breath and my eyes went from Jason, to the raised bed, to the door, while I hardly was able to see anything. Tears pricked the corners of my eyes and my stomach swelled with fear.  
I wanted to run but I didn’t know where or even why. My mouth was moving, trying to form words as I struggled in the blanket that I used the night before, trying to stand so that I could _run_. I hardly cared where, just as long as I could get away.   
My stomach churned and I thought for sure that I was about to puke, my face already ruined by tears.   
I felt myself being picked up, which only made me tremble harder and cry heavier. The scenery changed to the hallway, and then the library.  
“You are okay.” Jason’s voice cut through my heartbeat pounding in my ears. He was rocking me calmly.  
“Breath.” He instructed. “Breath nice and steady.” Jason said in a soothing tone. I obeyed, slowly breathing.   
I slowly got back from my wherever I was in my brain and focused on where I was.  
“That was a panic attack.” Jason whispered.  
 _Yeah_. I thought. All I could do was breath slowly and keep my grip on Jason. I didn’t want him to leave. I didn’t want to be all alone in a room again.  
“What all happened before I came? Did he just beat you all the time?” Jason questioned, still hugging me tightly.  
 _No. He raped me. He would rape me too much and it hurt and I hate him and I hate what he made me do and I hate the feeling of him violating me and subjecting me to such humiliation and pain!_  
I mouthed ‘he just beat me’ and Jason sighed.   
“I understand that you are still haunted by the thought of him. But it is okay. He cannot get you while you’re here. You’re _safe_.”   
_I’m scared_. I thought, but I didn’t move to do anything to express my thoughts and just clutched onto Jason’s shirt feeling safe in his arms.   
When Jason came to the cell next to mine, he truly was a blessing. He always made me feel less lonely.


End file.
